Due to a recent death in my family & my father being in hospice care, I am not accepting litigated cases!
I no longer offer $1/minute consultations - they just were not worth the effort & believe it or not, people did not want to pay for them!
I am now only handling family law mediation cases.
I am referring people to --
Paticia Bushman at 713-807-9405.
I rent space in her office.
She will NOT talk to you on the phone.
She will meet with you for FREE the first time.
She will quote you a price.
She takes payment plans.
Her office is located at Loop 610 & Kirby - close to Reliant Stadium.
She sees people usually afternoons, early evenings & some week-ends.
She books up so call her.
She has handled a lot of contested cases.
She has done jury trials.
She will go outside of Harris County.
Pat is in court a lot & you will deal with her staff a lot.
She is no-frills.
I also recommend Rose Cardenas.
She speaks Spanish.
She is very hands on & is very spiritual.
She is a UT graduate who has been licensed over 25 years.
Her brother handles criminal law.
Her personal cell phone is 832-419-4110.
She answers her own phone. She is often hard to reach because she is in court most mornings. When she is with a client, she will not answer her phone.
Her office is located off Loop 610 & Bellaire Blvd.
She only accepts a limited number of cases.
Tell her that FRAN sent you.
She is not inexpensive.
If you need someone that will talk to you in the evening & "hold your hand" then call Rose.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Contacting me!
If you want me to reply to you about your legal problem or if you have a question- DO NOT SEND ME A COMMENT!
There is no way for me to comment. You are wasting your time & energy sending a comment to me via this blog!
You need to email me directly. fran@familylaw4u.com
Also, if you are trying to "spam" me with junk comments or porno sites - I have this blog carefully "filtered" to avoid this so you are also wasting your time! (This happened a lot when I first started this blog & it seems to have stopped a couple of years ago after I put the filters in place.)
There is no way for me to comment. You are wasting your time & energy sending a comment to me via this blog!
You need to email me directly. fran@familylaw4u.com
Also, if you are trying to "spam" me with junk comments or porno sites - I have this blog carefully "filtered" to avoid this so you are also wasting your time! (This happened a lot when I first started this blog & it seems to have stopped a couple of years ago after I put the filters in place.)
Friday, July 9, 2010
Comments from ADR Conflict Resolution & Mediation Exchange Group on Linkedin.com
I am a member of the www.linkedin.com group on ADR, Conflict Resolution & Mediation Exchange.
This week an interesting question was posted that generated a lot of interesting answers.
The question that was posted was: “What single phrase or mantra do you use to support yourself when the going gets tough in supporting others to resolve conflicts or when you are in conflict with others?"
Here are samples of some of my favorite answers – some serious and some not so serious:
• “Trust the process” is one I have found useful
• “Stay curious” – especially when I am in conflict with others. I will also sometimes adopt the Alice in Wonderland phrase “curiouser and curiouser” to do “deepening work” in a mediation
• Anger is a vehicle of communication that always carries a message. The person who expresses anger is trying to present information. Often it is information that, without the anger, he wouldn’t have the courage to express…
• I try to focus on the underlying message, not necessarily the expressed emotion or the surface message. I guess my mantra would be “I wonder what is underneath this”
• If this were easy, anyone could do it
• Expect emotion, not logic and respect emotions of others
• I have found that emotions are 80% and logic is 20%, and when we negate the emotions of the other we are insulting and irritating the persons more. Respect their feelings, feelings are never right or wrong, so don’t use logic to analyze the feelings. Show empathy and compassion for them, and slowly the logic will surface.
• Anger is like quicksand; the more you fight or try to control it, the deeper you sink…Bottom line, personal perspective of the situation is paramount. What am I feeling? What am I thinking? My mantra is “It’s all good”
• Think outside the box
• Conflict is usually emotionally driven and not logic driven
• I take my ego out of the process and let the “magic” happen
• I am visualizing my hands slowly closing around your neck
• Lets take a step back and evaluate how you would advise someone if they were in the same situation – evaluative role playing at its best
• My primary role is to actively listen. Most people just want someone to HEAR them and acknowledge their pain in a safe environment.
• It will unfold
• I am the guardian of the process; I am not in charge of the outcome
• Breathe
• Goddess, let me be a channel for your peace, your love and your clarity
• Stay present and pay attention
• KISS – keep it simple & short
• Patience is a virtue
• I think to myself after I just heard something alarming…take a couple of deep breathes, remain calm, do not let my face show any strong reaction, don’t say anything to inflame the situation, be thankful that this is one mistake that I chose not to make in this life & remember there are 2 sides to every story
• I’ve observed that for some people I am exposing them to a completely new way of conflict resolution that they have never tried before
• The alternative to resolving this dispute is playing the mutual game of death by a thousand bleeding wounds inflicting on each other – day after day – month after month – year after year. One of you wins a bloody victory not worth winning – the other a loss – marked by pain, suffering, financial loss and the empty feeling of frustration. This war needs to be ended now.
• When I have finished listening to someone in a conflict, I say that I understand the complainant’s point of view and then look for common threads in all arguments to reach a mutually acceptable resolution. You know you have been successful in mediation when both sides are a little bit on happy. One of my clients stated that after a successful mediation.
• Take light things seriously, and seriously things lightly
• As self talk, “stay calm, be courageous, and watch for the signs”
• My favorite is “trust the process”
• Do I have a dog in this hunt?
• The 2 most liberating phrases for me are “I don’t know” and “you may be right”
• I like one my mother used to say – “this too shall pass
This week an interesting question was posted that generated a lot of interesting answers.
The question that was posted was: “What single phrase or mantra do you use to support yourself when the going gets tough in supporting others to resolve conflicts or when you are in conflict with others?"
Here are samples of some of my favorite answers – some serious and some not so serious:
• “Trust the process” is one I have found useful
• “Stay curious” – especially when I am in conflict with others. I will also sometimes adopt the Alice in Wonderland phrase “curiouser and curiouser” to do “deepening work” in a mediation
• Anger is a vehicle of communication that always carries a message. The person who expresses anger is trying to present information. Often it is information that, without the anger, he wouldn’t have the courage to express…
• I try to focus on the underlying message, not necessarily the expressed emotion or the surface message. I guess my mantra would be “I wonder what is underneath this”
• If this were easy, anyone could do it
• Expect emotion, not logic and respect emotions of others
• I have found that emotions are 80% and logic is 20%, and when we negate the emotions of the other we are insulting and irritating the persons more. Respect their feelings, feelings are never right or wrong, so don’t use logic to analyze the feelings. Show empathy and compassion for them, and slowly the logic will surface.
• Anger is like quicksand; the more you fight or try to control it, the deeper you sink…Bottom line, personal perspective of the situation is paramount. What am I feeling? What am I thinking? My mantra is “It’s all good”
• Think outside the box
• Conflict is usually emotionally driven and not logic driven
• I take my ego out of the process and let the “magic” happen
• I am visualizing my hands slowly closing around your neck
• Lets take a step back and evaluate how you would advise someone if they were in the same situation – evaluative role playing at its best
• My primary role is to actively listen. Most people just want someone to HEAR them and acknowledge their pain in a safe environment.
• It will unfold
• I am the guardian of the process; I am not in charge of the outcome
• Breathe
• Goddess, let me be a channel for your peace, your love and your clarity
• Stay present and pay attention
• KISS – keep it simple & short
• Patience is a virtue
• I think to myself after I just heard something alarming…take a couple of deep breathes, remain calm, do not let my face show any strong reaction, don’t say anything to inflame the situation, be thankful that this is one mistake that I chose not to make in this life & remember there are 2 sides to every story
• I’ve observed that for some people I am exposing them to a completely new way of conflict resolution that they have never tried before
• The alternative to resolving this dispute is playing the mutual game of death by a thousand bleeding wounds inflicting on each other – day after day – month after month – year after year. One of you wins a bloody victory not worth winning – the other a loss – marked by pain, suffering, financial loss and the empty feeling of frustration. This war needs to be ended now.
• When I have finished listening to someone in a conflict, I say that I understand the complainant’s point of view and then look for common threads in all arguments to reach a mutually acceptable resolution. You know you have been successful in mediation when both sides are a little bit on happy. One of my clients stated that after a successful mediation.
• Take light things seriously, and seriously things lightly
• As self talk, “stay calm, be courageous, and watch for the signs”
• My favorite is “trust the process”
• Do I have a dog in this hunt?
• The 2 most liberating phrases for me are “I don’t know” and “you may be right”
• I like one my mother used to say – “this too shall pass
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The First Holistic Lawyer
I am often asked who was the first holistic attorney.
Abraham Lincoln’s name is often mentioned as being the first “holistic” attorney.
Below are some quotes from a law lectures from around 19850 that reflects Abraham Lincoln keen wit and outlook about the legal profession…
“Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser – n fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.”
“Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this. Who can be more nearly a fiend than he who habitually overhauls the register of deeds in search of defects in titles, whereon to stir up strike, and put money in his pocket? A moral tone tough tot be infused into the profession which should drive such men out of it.”
“The matter of fees is important, far beyond the mere question of bread and butter involved. Properly attended to, fuller justice is done to both lawyer and client. An exorbitant fee should never be claimed. As a general rule never take your whole fee in advance, nor any more than a small retainer. When fully paid beforehand, you are more than a common mortal if you can feel the same interest in the case, as if something was still in prospect for you, as well as for your client. And when you lack interest in the case the job will very likely lack skill and diligence in the performance. Settle the amount of fee and take a note in advance. Then you will feel that you are working for something, and you are sure to do your work faithfully and well. Never sell a fee note -- at least not before the consideration service is performed. It leads to negligence and dishonesty -- negligence by losing interest in the case, and dishonesty in refusing to refund when you have allowed the consideration to fail.”
“There is a vague popular belief that lawyers are necessarily dishonest. I say vague, because when we consider to what extent confidence and honors are reposed in and conferred upon lawyers by the people, it appears improbable that their impression of dishonesty is very distinct and vivid. Yet the impression is common, almost universal. Let no young man choosing the law for a calling for a moment yield to the popular belief -- resolve to be honest at all events; and if in your own judgment you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer.”
Abraham Lincoln’s name is often mentioned as being the first “holistic” attorney.
Below are some quotes from a law lectures from around 19850 that reflects Abraham Lincoln keen wit and outlook about the legal profession…
“Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser – n fees, expenses, and waste of time. As a peacemaker the lawyer has a superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.”
“Never stir up litigation. A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this. Who can be more nearly a fiend than he who habitually overhauls the register of deeds in search of defects in titles, whereon to stir up strike, and put money in his pocket? A moral tone tough tot be infused into the profession which should drive such men out of it.”
“The matter of fees is important, far beyond the mere question of bread and butter involved. Properly attended to, fuller justice is done to both lawyer and client. An exorbitant fee should never be claimed. As a general rule never take your whole fee in advance, nor any more than a small retainer. When fully paid beforehand, you are more than a common mortal if you can feel the same interest in the case, as if something was still in prospect for you, as well as for your client. And when you lack interest in the case the job will very likely lack skill and diligence in the performance. Settle the amount of fee and take a note in advance. Then you will feel that you are working for something, and you are sure to do your work faithfully and well. Never sell a fee note -- at least not before the consideration service is performed. It leads to negligence and dishonesty -- negligence by losing interest in the case, and dishonesty in refusing to refund when you have allowed the consideration to fail.”
“There is a vague popular belief that lawyers are necessarily dishonest. I say vague, because when we consider to what extent confidence and honors are reposed in and conferred upon lawyers by the people, it appears improbable that their impression of dishonesty is very distinct and vivid. Yet the impression is common, almost universal. Let no young man choosing the law for a calling for a moment yield to the popular belief -- resolve to be honest at all events; and if in your own judgment you cannot be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer.”
Thursday, April 29, 2010
If you want MIRACLES do this!
If you want miracles in your life - do this now!
1. Get a clean piece of paper
2. At the top of the page write the title
" your name and 10 miracles for 2010"
3. Then write the number 1-10 down the left side of the page
4. Then write "miracles now!" to the right of each number.
5. Sign and date the bottom of the page
6. Put the sheet in a safe place and keep it through the year.
It should look something like this:
FRAN BROCHSTEIN'S 10 MIRACLES FOR 2010
1. MIRACLES NOW!
2. MIRACLES NOW!
3. MIRACLES NOW!
4. MIRACLES NOW!
5. MIRACLES NOW!
6. MIRACLES NOW!
7. MIRACLES NOW!
8. MIRACLES NOW!
9. MIRACLES NOW!
10. MIRACLES NOW!
Signed Fran Brochstein
___________________
SIGNATURE
January 15, 2010
______________
DATE
1. Get a clean piece of paper
2. At the top of the page write the title
" your name and 10 miracles for 2010"
3. Then write the number 1-10 down the left side of the page
4. Then write "miracles now!" to the right of each number.
5. Sign and date the bottom of the page
6. Put the sheet in a safe place and keep it through the year.
It should look something like this:
FRAN BROCHSTEIN'S 10 MIRACLES FOR 2010
1. MIRACLES NOW!
2. MIRACLES NOW!
3. MIRACLES NOW!
4. MIRACLES NOW!
5. MIRACLES NOW!
6. MIRACLES NOW!
7. MIRACLES NOW!
8. MIRACLES NOW!
9. MIRACLES NOW!
10. MIRACLES NOW!
Signed Fran Brochstein
___________________
SIGNATURE
January 15, 2010
______________
DATE
7 Thought Provoking Questions
7 Thought Provoking Questions
I recently learned of a new book by Dr. Ron Wolfson, “The Seven Questions You’re Asked in Heaven: Reviewing & Renewing Your Life on Earth”. I have never heard of Dr. Wolfson and have never read any of his books.
Even if you never read his book, I think that you will find these 7 questions simple yet so profound. These questions made me look deep within myself as to my core values.
I have made a copy of these questions and put them on 12/31/2010 so that I can review them again in 2011. I am also going to email them to family and friends that I think will appreciate them. Enjoy!
1. Have you been honest with others, truthful with yourself, and faith with your God?
2. Did you leave a legacy (through your children or impacting the lives of other children)?
3. Did you set a time to study?
4. Did you have hope in your heart?
5. Did you get your priorities straight?
6. Did you enjoy this world?
7. Were you the best YOU you could be?
I recently learned of a new book by Dr. Ron Wolfson, “The Seven Questions You’re Asked in Heaven: Reviewing & Renewing Your Life on Earth”. I have never heard of Dr. Wolfson and have never read any of his books.
Even if you never read his book, I think that you will find these 7 questions simple yet so profound. These questions made me look deep within myself as to my core values.
I have made a copy of these questions and put them on 12/31/2010 so that I can review them again in 2011. I am also going to email them to family and friends that I think will appreciate them. Enjoy!
1. Have you been honest with others, truthful with yourself, and faith with your God?
2. Did you leave a legacy (through your children or impacting the lives of other children)?
3. Did you set a time to study?
4. Did you have hope in your heart?
5. Did you get your priorities straight?
6. Did you enjoy this world?
7. Were you the best YOU you could be?
Breathe!
I am a family law attorney and mediator in Texas. No one calls a divorce attorney when life is easy! I deal with people going through major life changes. In many ways it’s a death of their former life.
Often I have to remind people to “BREATHE”. If you are not getting enough oxygen to your brain you cannot think clearly. Some people are so overcome with emotion and fear that they are literally out of breath when they call me.
I encourage the person to take a few deep breaths, calm down, and relax their body for a few moments. Suddenly their voice, face, breathing and body posture changes for the better.
When going through a stressful period, to remember to –
1. do something special for yourself each day – even if it’s just drinking a cup of coffee, make it special;
2. go outside each day – appreciate nature, take a few deep breaths & try to take a walk everyday…especially when stressed;
3. laugh – we all need to laugh everyday! If I’m down, watching kittens playing brightens my day;
4. do something for someone else – even if it’s just saying hello to a stranger – practice random acts of kindness & you’ll feel better;
5. pick your battles. Is this going to be important in 5 years? If the answer is no, then let it go;
6. think of one good thing about yourself each day and one thing to be thankful for each day;
7. do your best each day & don’t fret over the projects you didn’t get done. If you did the best you could, don’t beat yourself up. Congratulate yourself for the things you did get done. If you are really having a bad day, just getting out of bed is an accomplishment;
8. remember that we all have a spark of God within each of us & we are all unique and special;
9. change your challenges into “opportunities”;
10. let go of your ego; and
11. remember…BREATHE!
Remember that every journey begins with just one small step. The first step is the hardest – it does get easier. I promise.
Anytime you are going through a difficult time, recognize that God loves you. Instead of asking God for things, be thankful for the positive things in your life. Sometimes when our prayers are not answered, there is something much better coming. Be patient -- expect and accept a miracle. There are miracles occurring all the time. Be aware & be thankful.
When you say (or think) something negative, immediately say (or think) “cancel, cancel, cancel” and then think of the same statement in a positive way. For example, imagine that you’re changing a radio station to a better channel. And, eliminate the word “always” and “never” from your vocabulary.
Recognize that we have all been wounded. Even though the wound eventually heals, a scar is left. But a scar is tough and cannot tear again.
If a person knows where your “buttons are located” then move your buttons! The word “whatever” is a wonderful word. Practice using “whatever” when someone tries to attacks you.
Live in the moment. Stay grounded. Don’t live in your head. Each moment of is a gift. Rejoice in this wonderful gift. Always take the high road. Don’t live your life like a daytime soap opera. Learn to control your temper. Learn to forgive. Learn to love yourself. You are precious.
Remember to (1) believe (2) release (3) express gratitude (4) receive blessings and (5) manifest.
In 2003, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a journey that I never anticipated having to travel. I am definitely not the person I was in 2003. Hopefully, today I’m a better person. I don’t sweat the small stuff. I am more patient. I listen more. I am calmer. I celebrate everyday of my life. I thank God every day for the privilege of living another day. I decided to use this opportunity to review and re-assess my life. I decided to change my legal practice. I decided laugh each day and to share my philosophy with clients.
If you had only a month to live…what would you do? Do it now!
Often I have to remind people to “BREATHE”. If you are not getting enough oxygen to your brain you cannot think clearly. Some people are so overcome with emotion and fear that they are literally out of breath when they call me.
I encourage the person to take a few deep breaths, calm down, and relax their body for a few moments. Suddenly their voice, face, breathing and body posture changes for the better.
When going through a stressful period, to remember to –
1. do something special for yourself each day – even if it’s just drinking a cup of coffee, make it special;
2. go outside each day – appreciate nature, take a few deep breaths & try to take a walk everyday…especially when stressed;
3. laugh – we all need to laugh everyday! If I’m down, watching kittens playing brightens my day;
4. do something for someone else – even if it’s just saying hello to a stranger – practice random acts of kindness & you’ll feel better;
5. pick your battles. Is this going to be important in 5 years? If the answer is no, then let it go;
6. think of one good thing about yourself each day and one thing to be thankful for each day;
7. do your best each day & don’t fret over the projects you didn’t get done. If you did the best you could, don’t beat yourself up. Congratulate yourself for the things you did get done. If you are really having a bad day, just getting out of bed is an accomplishment;
8. remember that we all have a spark of God within each of us & we are all unique and special;
9. change your challenges into “opportunities”;
10. let go of your ego; and
11. remember…BREATHE!
Remember that every journey begins with just one small step. The first step is the hardest – it does get easier. I promise.
Anytime you are going through a difficult time, recognize that God loves you. Instead of asking God for things, be thankful for the positive things in your life. Sometimes when our prayers are not answered, there is something much better coming. Be patient -- expect and accept a miracle. There are miracles occurring all the time. Be aware & be thankful.
When you say (or think) something negative, immediately say (or think) “cancel, cancel, cancel” and then think of the same statement in a positive way. For example, imagine that you’re changing a radio station to a better channel. And, eliminate the word “always” and “never” from your vocabulary.
Recognize that we have all been wounded. Even though the wound eventually heals, a scar is left. But a scar is tough and cannot tear again.
If a person knows where your “buttons are located” then move your buttons! The word “whatever” is a wonderful word. Practice using “whatever” when someone tries to attacks you.
Live in the moment. Stay grounded. Don’t live in your head. Each moment of is a gift. Rejoice in this wonderful gift. Always take the high road. Don’t live your life like a daytime soap opera. Learn to control your temper. Learn to forgive. Learn to love yourself. You are precious.
Remember to (1) believe (2) release (3) express gratitude (4) receive blessings and (5) manifest.
In 2003, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a journey that I never anticipated having to travel. I am definitely not the person I was in 2003. Hopefully, today I’m a better person. I don’t sweat the small stuff. I am more patient. I listen more. I am calmer. I celebrate everyday of my life. I thank God every day for the privilege of living another day. I decided to use this opportunity to review and re-assess my life. I decided to change my legal practice. I decided laugh each day and to share my philosophy with clients.
If you had only a month to live…what would you do? Do it now!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)